crystal power

I do not believe in magnet therapy or crystals or any of that new age hocus-pocus.

But I do believe in my girlfriend, Christine, who is not just a massage therapist; she is a healer. When Christine was a student, I got some free massages, and I could see that she was making this stuff her own. I did not buy the crystal stuff. She would hold one on a long string above my stomach to "do a read" on me. Sometimes it went back and forth; sometimes it moved in circles. Whether it was counter-clockwise or clockwise mattered, too. All kinds of energy was at work in that room, so who could say for sure which energy manipulated it? Was there a slight breeze from the window frame of the old house? Did Chris have a shaky hand? Was our breath blowing it? And what of all the ghosts?

The other day, I went in for a "treatment" (that's what you call them when you are passing out from all pain and the oxygen flooding your brain, and you are in a panic, and both of you are crying). For laughs, I decided to move the crystal that hangs several feet above me from a ceiling rafter. That is, I decided to move the crystal with my mind. She and I stared at it. It was so still that it felt as though nothing were living in the room. But I exerted a lot of mental pressure, and we eventually deluded ourselves into seeing it swing ever so gently.

While I don't believe in their healing power or their ability to grant wishes, I do believe they can aid in our attentiveness. For instance, when you are trying to move a crystal with your mind, your presence in the moment can make you see microscopic movements. (And it can give you a wicked headache.)



My husband's sister-in-law passed a crystal down to my daughter, Serena, a few years ago. It was a particularly lucky crystal, Gina said, and she instructed Serena to write down all of her goals for the year, fold up the piece of paper, and place it in a vessel with the crystal. In order for this magic to work, Serena would have to take the crystal out every so often and meditate with it, then replace it in the vessel.

Of course, it's the power of meditation, not the magic in a crystal, that aids in accomplishing goals. Meditation helps to improve focus and awareness (you can even raise your hand temperature and stave off migraines with meditation).

Still, every little bit helps, right?

Shortly after the crystal arrived in the house, I took it. I wrote down my goals for 2006 (they are still in the beautiful hand-made jar with the leaf lid), and I stuck the crystal inside. Once or twice, I meditated with the thing. And at the end of the year, I achieved a few of my goals. (The career goals received the most attention.)

In August, when I graduated from Goucher's MFA program and was looking for an agent and an editor and publisher, I looked to the crystal again. It was about that time that Serena approached me to ask, "Mom, where's the crystal Aunt Gina gave me?"

I told her that it was in a special place and that I really, really, really needed it right now. I would give it back soon. She asked me twice more that week, and I promised I'd return it to her soon.

While I was waiting for Simon & Schuster or Random House or Hyperion to be my true love, I was scrubbing the house from top to bottom. I was crazed by the time I got to Serena's room. (I spent about two hours removing stickers from her dresser and mirror.) A few days after I accepted an offer, I was putting something away in my daughter's room, and I found the crystal.

When Serena came home from school, I approached her with the crystal. "Serena, where did you get this?"

"In that little jar with the leaf lid."

"I told you I'd give it back as soon as I was done with it!"

"Mom," she said, "I found it months ago!"



You can't prove a negative: that there's no God, that people don't have souls, that there's no magic in a crystal. But it would be a shame to rely on an amulet. If what I'd accomplished had come with the aid of a hand-me-down crystal, how would I be able to get anything else done without first securing the object in the jar?

Or maybe the crystal was answering my daughter's prayers, too.