One I.Q. Point Away From Imbecile*
Surely you've gotten the e-mails about margarine. Maybe you've been warned about Splenda. All this talk about atoms and molecules is enough to make you stupid.
So margarine is a molecule away from plastic. What does this mean to you? Absolutely nothing.** Once the molecular structure of a thing is changed, it becomes another thing.
The final argument in the [margarine e-mail] is what has make [sic] it so popular, but is also the farthest from reality and preys on the lay man's general ignorance of chemistry. It is not true that margarine is "but ONE MOLECULE from being PLASTIC." Many items in nature are chemically similar to one another, but that doesn't make them similar in appearance or effect. For instance hydrogen peroxide (H 2O2) is "but one molecule from" water (H 2O), but I don't recommend drinking it. Similarly, Ozone (0 3) is "but one molecule from" oxygen (O 2), but the former can create serious respiratory distress, while the latter can alleviate it. (From BreakTheChain.org.)***
So next time someone gives you bunk about the Splenda you put in your coffee being a molecule away from chlorine (I believe it's an atom away, but who's counting?), recite this verbatim. He'll wish he had minded his own beeswax.
Remember, almost counts only in horseshoes and hand grenades and computer chips and intelligence.
(And you thought this was going to be about the president!)
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*An I.Q. point short of imbecile would be 19, idiot. (Morons are much smarter, with a range of 50-69.) Of course, this terminology is no longer in use, having been replaced by less specific poltically correct language. A genius is now considered very superior--and with ten I.Q. points fewer.
**Margarine contains harmful trans-fats. The hydrogenation process (yes, the one that adds that extra molecule of hydrogen) changes the molecular structure of fat in a harmful way, one that causes cancer. As you see in the case of ozone and oxygen, one is harmful, and one is not. Bleach is harmful; salt is not. Chlorine is harmful: Splenda is n--well, the jury's still out on this one. But not because of the atom!
***I'm no chemist, but ozone looks to be an atom away, not two (a molecule), from oxygen.
posted by fuquinay at 9:46 AM
speak!
3 Comments:
Cheerios for a sweet cereal! That's too funny. Our sweet cereal is Life. You can actually see sugar crystals on the squares.
My daughter's pediatrician says that she can have splenda-sweetened food, but not too much of it. I still don't trust it for the same reasons that you don't, but for me the alternatives are not good. (S&L is fine in coffee, but you can't bake with it; aspartame is poison, even if the aspartame e-mail is bunk; and sugar, well, it makes my life a living hell.)
3/21/2005 5:51 PM
I stopped using splenda in my coffee and switched to stevia - now I can't stand the taste of splenda. Like Lucy, when I bake, which is rare, I use real sugar. No one in my family will eat anything made with splenda - they don't like the taste, so what's the point?
3/22/2005 12:07 PM
I hate it for baking too, but half and half with xylitol (which is made from something natural, isn't it?), even my sugar-eatin' husband can't tell the difference.
Using Splenda and margarine and whatever is anyone's choice. All I'm saying is that the molecule argument doesn't hold H2O!
3/22/2005 12:45 PM
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